Debt and Family

[Ian]

How does debt affect your family life, and your relationship with your family. Discuss it here.

[Amy Bass]

Well, we don't do many recreational things. We don't go out to eat, go to the movie theathers, go to the amusement parks. We are working hard to become debt free so we can enjoy those things later, without going in debt for it. :)

[Ian]

We don't either. I have found that when you are in debt, we worry much more about how something costs.

[Nathaniel Scott]

i think the biggest change for us has come in the form of eating....we were pretty careless about our grocery budget and our eating out budget. we've reigned those in and it's made a huge difference. we have not had a tv in a couple years and have never paid for cable (7 years), we rent but it is reasonable. no gym, no movie theaters, not too many dates nights out of the house. just recently we canceled one cell phone, and stopped our blockbuster online subscription. when you're used it it, it's definitely a sacrifice, but a sacrifice well worth it.

and i would say not having all those extra things to think about (especially tv) we've been able to grow very close as a family--enjoying each other's company and actually interacting.

right before i found this group i started a facebook group called "if i were debt free"--check it out if you'd like. http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=7784434698

also my blog called "if i were debt free" is at www.natedavidscott3.blogspot.com

[Allsmiles]

We are slowly learning what is and isn't important to us in terms of... STUFF! We have never been overly in-love with stuff. Our TV was on clearance 8 years ago when we got it. We have gotten a DVD player as a prize at a company function, our VCR was a gift. Any movies we have were gifts. Also, most of our furniture is hand-me-down. Never had cable. Computer is old and I'm sure it could use upgrading.

We dream more now and put things on hold more. I have had my eye on a 3-pack of socks for over a month, but I just can't bring myself to buy it! LOL!

Our family is torn - parents and aunt and uncle and grandfather are so proud of our progress. They take such great care of us and my parents watch the kids for free so we can get extra work in here and there (although I don't like to take advantage). My brother-in-law makes fun of the fact that we don't have gaming consoles or a newer computer or a bigger TV. We sort of chuckle inside, they are deeply in debt and they don't seem to get it. We like our simplicity right now. We love our small paid-for cars because they are stepping stones to other cars in the future that we will pay for in CASH! We love that we don't place an emphasis on stuff... It's just not worth it, and it's not the priority in life!

As for our family and our marriage... Well, it's only gotten stronger! My 3 and 5 year olds are on commission (they love it), and the extra work isn't horrible. It's a life lesson! We chose to rack up $140,000 in student loans, so that's our fault! We have to face the music. I would rather it be now, than when the kids are older and we can't afford their band uniforms or sports equipment. They don't see that we are sacrificing. This has been their life, and they are happy, well-adjusted children!

[katharina]

Sounds as if you're doing great, Nathaniel! I know what you mean about the grocery budget... it's one of the easiest places to make a difference. That's great about the lack of cable payment... ours is within a few cents of $50 a month now and we don't have ANY extra things like HBO. That's just basic cable. :-(

[Frugal Dad]

I'm definitely the nerd in our family, so I tend to get more anxious about the debt hanging over us than my free-spirited wife! My kids feel it because their friends have IPods and cell phones and other toys. We typically pass on those gadgets. I think we are the last house in our neighborhood without a plasma television, and I'm fine with that! I just can't see going out and buying a television worth three times as much as my beater!

[Ian]

I would agree with that. I am the spreadsheet junkie in my house. We don't have high definition anything.

[Azrael]

It seems that we can’t deny being on debt whenever we are thinking of having our own family life. This is why I’m not yet married yet. As of now, I’m just helping on paying out the bills. Helping out with the debt is not an obligation to me, but a help for my mother.

[katharina]

That's a very good way to think of it, and I'm sure that your mother appreciates the help greatly. It's so much better when we want to help someone and don't feel some sense of obligation.

[Princess2008]

It affects my family only because they worry so much about me, however I have agreed repayments on most and a lesson well learned ready for the future, most of the debt was because of careless spending, living the single life, wanting more than I could afford. The same old but now it only affects my partner and I in the sense that I worry so much about money and am always budgeting, calculating etc and causes a few arguments. We dont go out as much as we would like, or eat at fancy places as much. I am lucky as my partner helps towards my debt with his earnings even though it was all my debt before I met him (bless him!) so this is something I respect so much.

[brandon05]

I do our budgeting and paying of the bills each month. It effects our family because it seems like I am the one who ends up being the so called bad guy when I have to tell my husband or sons we don't have the money for certain things. I don't enjoy this in the least but I figure someone has to be on top of it.

[R1986]

Worrying about debt can definitely take a toll on families and relationships. I'm lucky enough to be almost entirely clear of my debt but even still it can aggravate situations when you're trying to save money and your partner wants to go out to the movies or dinner, etc. making you have to chose between your budget and recreational time with loved ones. It's all about balance and honesty in many of these situations I think.